Mystery In The Valley

Our river valley is one of those places that looks like nature got halfway through building a normal landscape, and then added secret passageways, surprise hills, hidden coulees, and enough dips and hollows that a person could disappear without anyone ever knowing, unless, of course, they left behind a good hat.

One day, many years ago, a fellow was walking down the main road that leads to another main road, (because out here even the roads need connections before they commit to going anywhere). He was dressed of no significance, nothing you would remember. Average height, dark hair, pants and shirt, no idea what they looked like. An oilfield worker came along and stopped and asked him if he had vehicle trouble. The fellow said no, that a friend and he had been travelling together and his friend went south and he wanted to head west to Edmonton, and he figured the main road wasn’t far away, so he’d walk a bit and hitch a ride. He obviously didn’t know the roads were long and that a man could walk half a day and still be way out in the country. The oilfield worker told him he had a quick job to do, and if he was still on the road when his job was complete, he’d give him a ride to the highway which was neighbourly and practical. Other people reported seeing him that day, which is impressive, because around here a person can stand in the middle of the road for an hour and never be seen except for satellite imagery and wildlife.

Within a few days, a car was spotted parked and broke down on an un-travelled road close to the river not far away. The police were notified and the car was hauled away. It had been reported stolen. Turns out our criminal traveller ended up hitching a ride and disappeared in the city of Edmonton somewhere. The driver who stopped had no idea he was transporting the lead suspect and star witness. We don’t know if the fellow was ever seen again. Where his partner went nobody knows, but we did find a cap laying in the middle of the road, it’s visor or bill had a visible hand-rolled curve with slight fraying along the edge where the wearer repeatedly grabbed it. I immediately thought of the TV character on CSI, Gil Grisham, who could have solved the case instantly with his team of investigators. They would arrive in sunglasses, say something clever, swab the cap for DNA and feed it into a machine worth more than the car, and solve the whole mystery before the next commercial break.(Maybe I watch too much TV)

Naturally we gave the missing mystery man without his hat, a name. Les, (named after a character on the western movie, Tombstone). And that is how the whole tale came to be summed up in one perfect epitaph. “Here lies Les. No Les, no more.” (no disrespect to our friends with that name).

This is as close as our road has ever come to having a crime scene and a neighbourhood meeting at the same time. Apologies to the poor soul who lost their car! We watched it be towed away and cringed at the thought of the violation that happened very close to home. We had always felt safe and secure in our own little world. Thus, the beginning of the locking of doors and installation of security cameras.

And so, the great mystery came and went, leaving behind a stolen car, a suspicious cap, and nervous country folk. We never did find out if there were actually two criminals or where they went or what they did. But we did learn one important lesson. If a stranger wanders out of the river valley claiming he is “just heading west,” (take a picture) lock the doors, check your vehicles, and keep an eye on your good hats.